I have had 5 hours of false labor contractions on Saturday, more yesterday and more today. GRRRRR....I'm hitting a treadmill today to see if I can move things along. Probaly slightly naughty, but the doctor wants to induce and I don't want her to. I feel so ready and I feel Elora is telling me she is ready. My husband and I are in super cleaning mode around the house. We can't seem sanitize enough to suit us. Women go through that, but my husband is a good nester! LOL! He was taking out the garbage and stuff when I came home from work on my lunch break. *grins* Anyhow, my question to the community is this:Anyone have some ritual ideas or prayers, etc to help things along??
I have Elora's bag in the trunk of the car along with my breast pumping supplies. Our bag will soon follow. I'm not in labor yet, but Goddess willing, I'll be there soon! Wish me luck!
Happy Mabon everyone! Today we focus on being thankful for our personal harvest. One thing I'm thankful for today is the fact that our daughter will in our arms very soon. My husband and I can't wait! We have some wonderful friends who are giving us a bassenette, a car seat, and a few other things we still need. Our daughter is perfect and beautiful and we can't wait until she's is born. What family activities do any of you have planned for the children today??
One of the two items on my post today is to extend a warm welcome to caitriona! I hope you enjoy the community. Now for my post. I am getting ready for baby who will be arriving sooner than expected. The doctor wants to induce me early, maybe in about 3 weeks. I'll have an ultrasound on the 26th and I'll get a new due date. I would rather go into labor on my own however and I have the strongest instinct that I will. I have a feeling that sometime after my 36th week starts, I'll have a baby in my arms. *grins* So I've been thinking of the upcoming Mabon ritual and my wish to have my baby as naturally as possible. Also on the 21st, I have a flamekeepers ritual (see flame_keepers for info on this). Brighid has been such a strong influence in my home and in my life...as strong an influence as the Mother Goddess.I will light a candle on my flame shift and say the the traditional flame keepers prayer. I will visualize myself in labor on my own. It'll be a peaceful labor and I will be calm. Though in pain, I will happily give myself over to it rather than fight it and help my little daughter into this world. I will visualize myself holding her and watching my husband hold her. I will then say a prayer (still working on the wording of it) to Brighid and ask that this be Her will. On Mabon, I will light the candle again. I will cast the circle for Mabon and as part of our ritual we focus on what we are hoping to bring to harvest for ourselves by the end of the season. My focus will be on being able to feed my daughter (I think every mom who wants to exclusivly breastfeed worries about milk supply if it is the first baby). I will also ask for the Mother's Will to be done as to when my baby will be born. I want Elora to be healthy and not come before she is totally ready. I will wish for her to be totally healthy, able to suckle easily at my breast, etc. Anyone have any family plans for Mabon ritual??
I woke up yesterday with the beginnings of a story in my head. I'm going to try my hand at writing a fable about how Brighid came to be keeper of the eternal flame. A children's story. I'll post it when I've got it written. Wish me luck as I've never written a story before. *grins*
I dreamt I had the baby this morning. It was the middle of the night and I had Elora. I smelled her skin and cuddled her before the doctors cleaned her up, I could feel her soft hair and smell it. I remember Ryan smiling at us and being ready to hold her too. I also remember feeding her. I had lots and lots of breastmilk. Actually too much for her. She would become full before going to the other breast. I remember it running freely like a river for her. When she was done, it would take a moment to stop. I happily handed off my bathrobe to my sister who would wash it for me as I had gotten some breastmilk on it. jShe was a beautiful baby. I remember in my dream how she latched on to me so easily and we fell into breastfeeding so naturally. I hear it isn't that easy, really, but then who knows. I have a very smart little girl.Ahhhh, I didn't want to wake up this morning. My only regret is that I can only tell Ryan about this dream, but he can't really experience it. As a matter of fact I often have dreamt about Elora, but he hasn't and I think he wishes that he could. It's the bond of mother and baby that causes me to dream of her. She is intelligent and I think uses my dreams to somehow communicate either to me or from me. That's why mothers often dream of their babies.
So far I have not questioned whether I'll be a good mother. I worry about it a lot, but I don't question it. No one really knows what kind of parent they'll be until they are faced with being one. Each day I feel Elora kick and play, and I thank the Goddess. Each morning I wake up first thought is of her. I look at Elyzahn and wonder what Elora will look like and I think how the Goddess and God have blessed us with a perfect child. Each day I can't help to take a minute and marvel at the little things. I thank the Gods that I haven't gained too much weight. Not for any real vanity reasons (though I'd be a liar if I said that never entered the equation...let's be totally honest folks)but mostly for the fact that I was overweight and had not been on Weight Watchers very long when our wonderful news happened. I want a healthy pregnancy. As healthy a pregnancy as I can have. I also thank the Goddess that my breasts are full and heavy. The first milk for my baby is coming in. I'll be able to nourish her with the perfect food. That I have a wonderful loving husband in my life and that he loves this baby with all of his heart as well as loves me. We may not be the perfect couple, but we love each other and our baby. We always work things out. We had a good start on this long before baby. Each esbat ritual and each sabbat ritual I take time, even if it just a few minutes to give thanks to the Gods when I evoke their presence for these little blessings.Does anyone else take time to do this?
The more excited about this bonding time I will have with Elora. I can't understand why my mom is so against it. Yes, I will have to go back to work but that's why the breast pump was invented. The Goddess didn't bless me with good breasts for nothing. It is a meditative, relaxing, bonding time with me and my baby, not to mention is healthier. The emotional and spiritual bonding simply cannot be replaced. Now, teaching my dear husband to bottle feed my breastmilk while I'm at work on the days he doesn't work, I hope won't be too much of a challenge. He'll have to learn to relax and enjoy the feeding time like I will. It can be a wonderful spiritual experience for him as well. I think it will draw him closer to the Father aspect of the Triple God. He is very strongly linked with the young/Warrior/Hunter God aspect. So for Midsummer ritual, I hope to have a mediation for us which will link us to the energies of the Mother Goddess and Father God aspects as well as bond his energies with Elora. She is already tightly bonded spiritually to me as she resides in my womb. My hope is that by the time she is born, she will be as tightly bonded with Elyzahn. Often times the bonding between father and baby comes after birth, but I think with our rituals and mediation together, he can begin a strong bond while Elora is still within my womb. She already responds to the sound of his voice. If we are sitting together and she hears his voice, she moves to his side of my body. If she is kicking me, she is calmed and relaxes as if listening intently to him. She responds this way to no other person. It's a good sign. I still have to work on the coven ritual, but at least I have the family ritual ready.
Today we found out that we are having a girl in October. Her name is Elora Jane Sullivan. You can just imagine how happy we are! She's beautiful and growing like a weed! I'm 5 months pregnant and the baby is just over a full pound. Very long....nurse said we can expect a very tall baby. She takes after mom and dad alright!
The baby seems to be healthy and perfect in every way, thank the Goddess. The heartbeat still amazes me every time I hear it. Such a lovely sound. However...I can't freakin' sleep now! I was up until 4am last night. All week I haven't been able to sleep. My mind just won't let me. So I try to meditate. No good. Goddess help me because this lack of sleep is giving me headaches. It can't be good for the baby. Anyone have any suggestions?Maybe I'll light my altar tonight and hopefully some dragon's blood incense may help me meditate.